Nachdem ich mir bei meinen bisherigen Journals nicht die Mühe gemacht habe, einen Einführungs- und Sammelpost zu machen, habe ich mir dieses Mal alle Mühe gegeben, und versucht, meine inzwischen doch schon etwas längere Liste an Werken etwas zu ordnen. Natürlich sieht das auf meiner Website alles viel besser aus (und dort gibt es einiges als PDF zum Runterladen), aber allen, die lieber hier lesen wollen, hilft die folgende Liste hoffentlich. Außerdem empfehle ich euch einen Blick in meine Tags.

( Fanfiction und Originale (Deutsch) )

( Meta (Deutsch) )

This hopefully makes it easier to find the more memorable entries in my journal. I did write that much fic in English (yet), but I've written quite a bit of meta during the last two years. You can also take a look at the tags and the memories.

( Fanfiction (English) )

( Meta (English) )

Title: An Elephant's Memory
Fandom: Neverwhere
Length: 2698 words
Rating: 6+
Characters: Door, Richard Mayhew, Marquis de Carabas
Warnings/Labels: teamfic
Beta: lelek
A/N: This is obviously the story that I wrote for colebaltblue during Yuletide 2009. I really liked her prompt and writing this story, although I might have defaulted if it hadn't been for merry_stew's support and help. You can find the story on the AO3 as well: An Elephant's Memory.


( In which there are a chess game, an elephant and a lot of mice. )

Okay, I've not yet read all of my gifts because half of them are in the Yuletide Madness Collection. I got six gifts in total, which is AWESOME, and the stories that I could read so far are AWESOME as well, even if my comments maybe aren't the most enthusiastic. If you're reading this dear mystery writers, it's not your fault, it's mine. I suck at writing glowing comments.

So here are the stories:

1. Ghoul Friday, Dresden Files, from Thomas' point of view. "Thomas does a lot for Harry, but entertaining cranky wardens might be going too far. Set somewhere between the novels Small Favor and Turn Coat." It illustrates Thomas' feelings for Harry and his trouble dealing with his Hunger very well!
2. Moving Out (and On), Dresden Files. "Ramirez discovers Thomas has easy access through Harry's wards. Awkwardness ensues," which is a very good summary, and the best about this story is the part that's between the lines, in my opinion!
3. Like Taking Candy from a Baby, Dresden Files. "Charlie had heard rumors about Warden Dresden, but he never expected this." Thomas scares a Warden. Very funny!
4. Carmel, Kings. "Jack sat out on the veranda sipping his coffee and watching the sun rise." A sweet short piece on Jack and Michelle before they return home after their father's death.
5. Like a Virgin, Velvet Goldmine, which is not exactly what I wished for, but incredibly good anyway. "Arthur has a chance encouter with Curt at a record signing that may just change the course of both their lives." Too cute for words.
6. Promise, Let Dai. "Jaehee looked up and couldn't believe his eyes." Jaehee and Dai meet again. Finally!

Updated to include Yuletide Madness stories. Also: My recipient loved my story. ♥

☞ I wanted to shake my Yuletide present this morning and discovered that my writer apparently defaulted because there's no gift uploaded for me yet. :-( Either that or there's a glitch in the AO3 software.

☞ I'm constantly tired at the moment. No idea why. It's just as if my mind never quite leaves this fuzzy state between half asleep and awake. And then there are these brief moments when I'm almost awake and should do stuff but they never last long enough. I suspect it might be low blood pressure again.

☞ Need to prepare for Christmas, mostly by buying food for four days. *sigh* My mother also threatened to send me a useful present, which is probably not the best idea ever. Her idea of a useful present are pans and pots and such and I absolutely hate getting useful presents from her because they tend to make me feel bad. The last time she tried it I would rather have had one present less instead of the one I got. It was a pot, and getting a pot as a Christmas present is really depressing. I'm afraid she bought an electric kettle this time, tbh, despite the fact that I repeatedly told her that I neither wanted nor needed one.

☞ Finally finished watching Jeeves & Wooster, which I loved, except that it's really difficult to keep track of all the characters. I frequently forgot about everyone but Jeeves, Wooster and Aunt Agatha.

I remembered that I wrote this months ago because today is Stargate Wednesday on RTL2. I think I mentioned it somewhere already, so I’m posting this before I forget about it again.


So I’ve been watching a lot of Stargate lately, both SG-1 and Atlantis. Which isn’t quite that unusual since I used to watch it every Wednesday until Pro7 decided to air the xth season of Buffy in the same time slot, and given the choice between Stargate and Buffy, my father lost and my brother and I won. That was before I changed schools for the last time, I think, so it’s been eight or nine years. And I’ve changed since then. As has Stargate. Characters died and left and … well, I don’t want to spoil anyone, but a lot has changed.

I also realise that what I’m about to say has probably been said a zillion times before, but a lot has been bugging me about the Stargate franchise from the start, back when I still lacked the words and the knowledge to express my thoughts. I also find it easier to accept some problematic content (like the premise that pyramids were built for spaceships and its implications) while some insignificant details annoy me to no end. I can suspend my disbelief only selectively, apparently. I also realise that sometimes, the shows did it right. I’m talking more about my general impressions.

( On Stargate And Why It Will Never Be Among My Favourite Series )

☞ My Yuletide beta (I had to write to a second person, who actually answered) promised me she would be done by Monday or Tuesday, so I am now glancing anxiously at the mail symbol of my browser every few minutes while I wait for the weekly party downstairs to quiet down a bit. I'm really nervous because I still have to look for a Britpicker and won't be in LE for a few days. My mother and I are visiting the relative of a relative of a relative in Göttingen for a few days and I don't think my mother will book a hotel with internet access.

☞ In other news: Chuck ate my brain. I only watched it because I was a bit bored, it stared Adam Baldwin and because I caught an episode on TV a while ago. I love it. Chuck is adorable and Casey is like Jayne only more clever; I like Sarah and Ellie and Morgan and Captain Awesome. Also: Awesome likes to run around half naked. Overall, the show is sweet and funny, even though it hits my embarrassment squick sometimes.

☞ I actually found a decent story on ff.de. Weird things do happen. Half of the stories that I have to look at as an OP are Mary Sue stories or stories with canon characters as Sues, though. No idea why people over there think the fandoms are overrun by slash. Do het fans have a persecution complex? Is everything about 15% slash more than acceptable?

How long should I wait for an answer after asking someone if they would be willing to beta a fic of mine?

I'm asking because my Yuletide support group buddy already heard back from the person she asked and she asked later than I did. I've been waiting for two/three days now, and I know that I am online far more often than other people, so I really don't know if it's reasonable to get a little nervous or if it's still normal response time. I've also written to people before who just didn't notice my message and wrote back to say sorry after a couple of months, so ...

☞ It's been a while. I'm feeling a bit better now, but the last weeks were rough. My depression was really bad, I had the first full-on panic attack in years and my phobias acted up. *sigh* I'm still not entirely back to my normal medium depressed state. I didn't get much writing done and there are still 05:04:47 left. No idea how much I'll write today and tomorrow.

☞ I actually did work on my Merlin fic for the first time in months. I realised it sucked and that it needs a major rework. ( Spoilers for recent episodes )

☞ I think I finally found out why disaster films don't work for me. It's not the wildly improbable natural catastrophes, because those aren't necessarily improbable at all, it's the wildly improbable ways in which humans conquer nature and stop the catastrophes. More often than not by using a lot of explosives. I would like them if they showed humans surviving the catastrophe, I wouldn't mind if they showed humans fighting to survive and dying (The Day After Tomorrow I liked, despite the unrealistic premise). I do mind the age old "conquering the wilderness" trope that crops up again and again. It's not only inacurate, it also reminds me of how humans treat their environment in other situations.

☞ Yuletide: I really hope my recipient will like my story, since I haven't written for the fandom before and couldn't research as much as I would have liked to. It also won't be as long and will end rather abruptly. But I'm confident because we seem to like similar stories and share a few quirks, despite not having any non-Yuletide fandoms in common. Now I only have to find a competent beta and brit-picker who knows the fandom. Or someone who can tell me if the story works once I've typed it up, at least. (Why yes, I still use pen and paper for writing.)

☞ I just had the worst day in about half a year. Which says something, considering that my good days are everybody else's worst days. It started totally promising, of course, with eumelkeks liking the Good Omens fic I wrote (it's in English, btw), Star Trek being delivered and hardly having any problems at all with shopping for groceries. I hadn't felt that good in weeks. And then I spent the rest of the day sobbing, hyperventilating and wishing I would die already. I hate my life (I realise it's the second time I said this today). *sigh* If you have any ideas how to cheer me up (since it's unlikely that I drop dead spontaneously), I'd be grateful. Cute animals don't work at all, though.

☞ In other (happier) news: The Archive of Our Own is going into open beta soon, and since I already have an account, I might get invites to share. Anybody interested or does my entire flist have an account already?

☞ Writing month project isn't going so well, obviously. I didn't write anything at all today.

☞ For those of you who have my phone number: don't call me unless you told me so via e-mail before. The phone is turned off for the time being. I try to avoid any incidences like the one that led to my breakdown today.

☞ Unrelated just plain weird phone stuff: I got an SMS by a couple who wanted to have hard SM sex with me. They apparently got the phone number off a toilet door at some rest stop at an autobahn. Either they mistyped the number or I really don't want to know who had my number before me. It isn't as funny as the woman who wanted to schedule a manicure with me and wouldn't let me tell her that I wasn't who she thought I was, though.