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Entry tags:
Depression, Destruction, and a Ray of Hope
► Job search is not going well and it’s beginning to eat at my soul. In fact, half the time, I just want to give up. The mandatory job searcher coaching is… whatever the opposite of helpful is.
► The garden is a lost cause. We planted so much, but then one bunny became three and four new crops became minus ten, because they eat everything. The onions? Sad green stumps. The strawberries? Ditto. The Swiss chard? Never had a chance. Neither did the radishes. The herb garden will hopefully regrow next year, but for now, no fresh herbs. The potatoes and rhubarb? Nibbled on at the edges (which my mother says can’t possibly be healthy for them). The only plants still standing unharmed are the red kuri squash (hidden on the compost heap), the zucchini and the borage, for reasons unknown. I’m livid, and I was this close to breaking the snitches get stitches rule of our neighbourhood and ratting our neighbour out to whoever’s responsible for irresponsible pet owners. We have fucking wolves here. He only managed to cage them again last week.
► I figured out something new about myself (that never stops, does it?) – my reaction to hearing the bass of distant music is misophonia, not just a normal reaction to it/tiredness. That’s why it doesn’t matter how quiet it gets. Even if I can barely hear it, it’s a rage/depression/confusion/madness button (in fact, often-times the low volume makes it worse). Brought to you by my neighbours starting to party at midday and not stopping until the middle of the night. They turn down the volume at night so as not to bother the neighbours/break the law, but doesn’t help in the slightest if the mere suggestion of it is enough to drive you batty. At least it was a Saturday, meaning I could use earplugs for sleeping.
► I signed up for Rough Draft Month next month. Not sure if it’s a good idea, what with, well … *points upwards*, but I’ve got my Fandom5K Assignment to get to and I can use a distraction. I think I really need my brain to stop running in circles, and writing tends to do the trick.
► The garden is a lost cause. We planted so much, but then one bunny became three and four new crops became minus ten, because they eat everything. The onions? Sad green stumps. The strawberries? Ditto. The Swiss chard? Never had a chance. Neither did the radishes. The herb garden will hopefully regrow next year, but for now, no fresh herbs. The potatoes and rhubarb? Nibbled on at the edges (which my mother says can’t possibly be healthy for them). The only plants still standing unharmed are the red kuri squash (hidden on the compost heap), the zucchini and the borage, for reasons unknown. I’m livid, and I was this close to breaking the snitches get stitches rule of our neighbourhood and ratting our neighbour out to whoever’s responsible for irresponsible pet owners. We have fucking wolves here. He only managed to cage them again last week.
► I figured out something new about myself (that never stops, does it?) – my reaction to hearing the bass of distant music is misophonia, not just a normal reaction to it/tiredness. That’s why it doesn’t matter how quiet it gets. Even if I can barely hear it, it’s a rage/depression/confusion/madness button (in fact, often-times the low volume makes it worse). Brought to you by my neighbours starting to party at midday and not stopping until the middle of the night. They turn down the volume at night so as not to bother the neighbours/break the law, but doesn’t help in the slightest if the mere suggestion of it is enough to drive you batty. At least it was a Saturday, meaning I could use earplugs for sleeping.
► I signed up for Rough Draft Month next month. Not sure if it’s a good idea, what with, well … *points upwards*, but I’ve got my Fandom5K Assignment to get to and I can use a distraction. I think I really need my brain to stop running in circles, and writing tends to do the trick.