Snowflake Challenge #3: Airing of Grievances

[rodo]

snowflake_challenge: Challenge #3
In your own space, Scream Into the Void. Get it all out.

This is kind of hard for me, because I tend to prefer not to vent, but there is one thing that frustrates me about fandom-as-a-whole: the more time marches on, the less accessible it becomes, for me at least.

So, I’ve got sociophobia – actual, diagnosed sociophobia. It’s gotten a lot better. Ten years ago, I couldn’t leave the house or phone anyone, and I can do that without much of a problem nowadays. I’m never going to like it, but I can manage. Unfortunately, other aspects haven’t gotten better: I still can’t stand chats, or basically any form of fandom interaction that relies on timely replies. I just need time to prepare myself to be social online, and sometimes I’m going to be really late – if that isn’t okay, community-wise, I’m just not going to be there at all. Discord, Twitter, even platforms like Tumblr, all move so much faster, and that just makes them impossible for me. (Besides some other issues.)

I just wish things were different, you know?

Comments

[misbegotten]

I understand this. It's frustrating to be "late to the party" but you have to do what is best for you!

[rodo]

It's not just being late to the party, it's also the feeling of having to be at the party all the time. But yeah, I'd rather miss out on stuff than making myself worse - that's why I never signed up for Facebook way back when everyone did. I could tell it would only make me miserable.

[dancing_serpent]

*wince* I can barely even keep up with Twitter, and I only have 38 people I follow. I backed out of Discord after two hours in a slow going channel. So, ugh, I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you!

If it's any consolation, there's no time limit on engaging with my journal or my comments. Take all the time you need, be it days/weeks/months/years.

[rodo]

It's good to hear I'm not the only one who has trouble with the way Discord and Twitter are designed. And also, thanks for reassuring me that I can take my time, if I have to!

[silveradept]

That is part of the reason I like Dreamwidth. There's not a cultural expectation to keep up with the immediacy of everything, or to respond to everything immediately. So I hope this can be a place that works for you.

[rodo]

Yeah, that's why I'm still here too. It's okay if you just check out for a bit, and to reply when you can. Plus, old posts are not taboo either, which is something I've heard is increasingly a thing on other sites.

[silveradept]

Old posts are taboo? So, what, all that beautiful archive just sits there? That seems unwise. And if they're supposed to be that way, it seems better to set up some sort of depression schedule so nobody gets tempted to break the rules.

[rodo]

I've heard some people on Tumblr get weird if you interact with a post older than a couple of months. Honestly, I don't get it either. I'm always happy about a comment on an old fic of mine, even if I might barely remember writing it.

[quailmail]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has trouble with chats! I tried joining a few Discord servers once, but even when things moved slowly I felt like I had to be logged in constantly so I didn't get left behind.

It's nice to be alone sometimes, and it's nice to know you can take your time and do things at your own pace. It's a shame that isn't the norm these days.

[rodo]

Modern social media and cell phones have trained us to be "on" all the time, and honestly, I don't think it's good for anybody, not just for me. My problems just tend to manifest a little earlier than others'. On the one hand, I'm glad chats work for some people, but on the other, I'm sad that they're increasingly the dominant form of doing fandom - although a lot depends on the circle, of course.

[quailmail]

Mm, I guess the ideal would be a selection so people can chose the communication methods that work for them. I'm glad there are options, but it definitely feels like it's weighted in a certain direction.