Meta Friday

[rodo]

Confessions of a Reader

As some of you might have noticed, I don't comment much. On anything. I know that this is generally considered to be a bad thing in fandom, but I can't help it. I just refuse to comment when all I have to say is "Well, it was good", because for some reason people don't appreciate comments like that. I've often been told that I am just not enthusiastic enough when I try to tell people that their stuff was... well, good.

Another reason why I don't comment much is that most of the time, I simply don't have anything to say. Yes, really. It's nothing personal, I just can't come up with something witty or thoughtful enough to add to what you, dear reader, already said in your post. So don't feel insulted if I don't reply to your posts most of the time.

I guess this is the reason why I always feel slightly insulted when people de-friend me because I didn't comment enough. I can understand it if you de-friend me because you're not interested in reading my journal, God knows I don't write nearly as much as I would like to, but because I don't comment? Sorry, I just don't understand it. But maybe that's because I don't expect anyone to comment on my journal, friend or not.

And even though I do write, I still spend most of my time online as a reader. A reader who is not worth much, in the eyes of some, because I don't comment. So I have a proposition for you: If you want to know if I read your story/entry/whatever, and if you're a paid user, why not put a poll at the end of the post, asking your readers if they read it, and if they liked it or disliked it, while still encouraging them to comment?

Comments

[blnchflr]

I decided not to comment on this back when, since my reply is basically a defensive defense wots defensive :o) - but I guess if I'm one of the people you're wondering about, here's my POV:

I know that this is generally considered to be a bad thing in fandom
I don't think I think it's a bad thing - there are tons of things I don't comment on, because I have nothing to say. But I'm aware, and think it fair that my lack of response may have consequences (whoa, this sounds really defensive - I don't mean it that way, but I do mean it. Ehm).

I'm in fandom for two things: 1) Enjoying fannish works (fic, meta, vids, etc.); 2) Interacting with other fen. Just like in RL, my interest in other people is dependent on their interest in me. Exceptions are those that produce stuff I'm just so goddamn interested in, I could care less about their interest in me. In fandom that would be e.g. writers whose writing I love to bits.

When someone has me friended, but rarely/never comments, I assume they're not reading or just not interested in my posts. They may be, but how am I supposed to tell :o) ? If I'm thinking someone isn't interested in my journal, I'm likely to feel less and less interest in their journal.

To me, it's not unlike having a RL friend who always wants you to listen to her, but doesn't want to listen back, or only wants to hang at her place, never at yours, or only wants to do things together if she gets to decide what to do, etc. I've stopped wasting time on people like that in RL, and yeah, I do to an extent equate IJ/LJ "friends" with such a relationship. If communication/interaction is a one-sided, I'd rather spend my time and energy reading and commenting on journals who are about two-way interaction.

And I know it's elitist and bitchy and what-not. But like I've said many times before, I simply don't get fandom blues/burn-out anymore the way I did back when I was afraid to defriend people and dutifully kept them and at least skimmed their entries, sometimes commented, although the communication back was near non-existent.

So, it's how I use IJ/LJ, it's what works best for me at this point in time. For what it's worth I always feel tremendously guilty about defriending people :o) ! But it's still better than feeling like I'm wasting my time on someone who isn't interested back.

(And then there's the whole thing about f-locked entries: Not that I make many, but if I f-lock it's for a reason, and if I don't interact much with someone, I'm unlikely to want them to read my f-locked entries - makee sense?)

[rood.insanejournal.com]

I do to an extent equate IJ/LJ "friends" with such a relationship. If communication/interaction is a one-sided, I'd rather spend my time and energy reading and commenting on journals who are about two-way interaction.

I guess you use your flist in a different way, that's all. To me, it's about reading someone's journal, that's all. Not about any sort of relationship. I think it's entirely possible to have an online relationship of sorts without friending a journal, just by meeting in the comments of a community.

To me, it's not unlike having a RL friend who always wants you to listen to her, but doesn't want to listen back, or only wants to hang at her place, never at yours, or only wants to do things together if she gets to decide what to do, etc.

Sounds suspiciously like my flatmate :(. But I understand what you're trying to say, and I guess that helped me to understand why people feel the need to defriend non-commenters. My interest depends on the contents of a journal, as I said above, that's all. Of course, communication is always a plus. But to you, it's "dependent on their interest", to you, communication is not just a plus, but the purpose of a flist (Am I right?).

I think this problem could be solved by establishing reading lists alongside the flists, but I guess that would just be too much of a bother.

[blnchflr]

I guess you use your flist in a different way, that's all.
Yup.

to you, it's "dependent on their interest", to you, communication is not just a plus, but the purpose of a flist (Am I right?).
Partly - again, there are journals I have friended that I don't interact with (or all interaction only happens on their turf). So, definitely, but not exclusively.

I think this problem could be solved by establishing reading lists alongside the flists, but I guess that would just be too much of a bother.
My f-list is my reading list, though :oP ! And as far as splitting them up into "people I interact with" and "people I don't interact with, but whose entries I don't want to miss", it wouldn't add any people to either - it'd be the same people as now, just split into two.

I would love the option to browse my fo-list, though, but I can see how in practical terms it'd create two tiers of f-lists, and omg, the wank that could come of that!