Spiders

[rodo]

Now, I am a very phobic person, but my oldest and one of my most annoying phobias is arachnophobia. It wasn't as bad in the city, mostly because I live far above ground, but at the moment I'm at my mother's. Which means a garden and a house with more holes than I want to think about (there's something living in the attic, not sure if it's rats, doves or racoons, for example). Which means spiders, a lot of them.

During the last few weeks, it was especially bad. I go to down into the cellar to get something to eat – huge spider (bigger than two euros) on the ceiling. I sit in the living room and surf the internet – big spider crawling down the wall next to the only door. I get up in the morning and start dressing – big spider crawling out of my trousers. I read a book in bed – big spider tries to land on the book. It's frustrating. It's also the reason why I'm fairly miserable right now.

I can't sleep in the dark anymore. I can't even sleep in twilight, because when I don't see a thing, I have to check every few seconds and if it's rather dark I see spiders in every shadow. I can't really sleep with the lights on either. Which means I'll at best get a few hours of light sleep during which I dream of big spiders in full detail, which means I'll wake up and have to check the whole room for spiders again. Rinse, repeat. I have a constant headache and am terribly tired all the time and my depression gets worse because of it. Urgh.

Now I'm tired, on ibuprofen and I really, really want to sleep but I dread going into my room because the last spider (the one right above my head while I was reading. I'd been dreaming about a spider up there only a few hours before then) terrified me. A lot.

The fun part: nobody gets it. If another person tells me "that the poor thing is more afraid of you, it really can't hurt you", I'm going to have a fit. I don't care if you think spiders are the cutest creatures ever. I just hope you get a nice, impractical phobia yourself. A phobia of insects, maybe.

Comments

[jaaaarne]

It's about time you mentioned it, 'cause I was about to upload a userpic with a spider. :) Could've been awkward. Although it's not a photo but a rather sketchy drawing. But well, I'll make something else instead. :)

I'm sorry you have such a problem, it's so sad. :( I personally am fascinated by spiders and their ability to weave such complex webs. I've read somewhere that if a web's strings were the diameter of a rope and the web itself was sized accordingly, then it would be able to "catch" a flying jet airliner. Utterly fascinating. Nature is just full of wonders, isn't it.

I'm really sorry you have to be around something you feel so uncomfortable about. It's not about it being impractical, it's rather about not having peace of mind and feeling miserable as a result, which does suck. *hugs you*

[anehan]

Bigger than two euros? Oh gods! And spiders in your trousers? Eep!

I fear and hate and loathe spiders so much I can't even begin to describe it. I'm so lucky to live this far in the north, because the spiders that inhabit buildings here are very rarely that big. I grew up in the countryside, so one would have thought that I would have got used to them, but I haven't. Luckily, these days I live so far above the ground that during the four years I've lived in this flat, I've seen exactly one spider and its size was approximately three millimetres.

[lian]

Ick ick ick ick. I understand why this is haunting you, BIG spiders INSIDE the house? OMG, that is terrible. In my old room I used to have a window lined with a net against flies & other insects and this was the only window I ever opened; the other was the "Spinnenfenster" and I used to have a fit when someone opened it. And my arachnophobia is relatively mild (I can still kill anything up to 1€ size, even though I will be shaking for half an hour afterwards.)

Is there nothing one can do against those? Or at least prevent them form living/coming itno the house? D:

[rodo]

I can deal with userpics. I don't like them and will avoid looking at them, but I would probably not freak, especially if it's not a photo.

[rodo]

But it's not the windows, unfortunately, at least not the windows in my room (which I refuse to open unless there are two people around who can watch them). My mother loves to air rooms and leaves the windows open for a long time, though. And then there is the cellar, which does have permanently open windows (even in winter). I have no idea how they get inside. Maybe they creep through holes in the walls.

[rodo]

I grew up in the countryside as well and never got used to them. We had one memorable trip to the local bog for biology during autumn, where the grass grows up to your knee and there was one spider on you at all times. Not even that desensitized me, I only missed most of the tour guide's explanations because of my constant fidgeting.

I should probably move to Norway or something. Cold for most of the year, few spiders inside, sounds lovely.

[eumelkeks]

I share your phobia and wouldn't sleep well, either. O_O I'm checking for spiders NOW! *shivers*

[blnchflr]

I share your phobia, too - ack :o( !

When I have money to burn, which will probably be never, I'll get phobia therapy - I have only ever heard good things about it, even if I find it hard to believe it'd work. Is that something you've ever considered?

[rodo]

I'm very phobic and have been in therapy that was supposed to reduce them, but it didn't work out.

Not to mention that arachnophobia would probably be the last on the list. I've so many phobias, this is at least one other people can relate to sometimes.