I totally agree, telling yourself that something "is just X" can be a very good idea. It can be calming, and it helps you sort out your priorities. And with minor phobias it's actually useful. Like a mantra ("itsjustaspideritsjustaspider").
Having someone else standing beside you and telling you that it's just a spider somehow only makes it worse because they're (un)intentionally telling you that you're an idiot, that you should know better or that you're a child that has to be calmed down.
My mother, unfortunately, loves telling me that "it's just ..." and it drives me crazy.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2009-07-28 06:55 am (UTC)Having someone else standing beside you and telling you that it's just a spider somehow only makes it worse because they're (un)intentionally telling you that you're an idiot, that you should know better or that you're a child that has to be calmed down.
My mother, unfortunately, loves telling me that "it's just ..." and it drives me crazy.