"It's just a post!"

[rodo]

☞ I really need a Peter Fox album. His music is great, why didn't I buy one years ago?

☞ I finally have a new muse! Or so it seems. I wrote a rough draft for a Supernatural ficlet based on the latest prompt at dailyprompt. It's neither long nor great, but it's a whole and not just a random scene. Maybe I could even post it, once I've revised it.

☞ A sentence that should be erased from every language ever: "It's just X" Seriously, I can't hear it anymore. Yes, Torchwood is just a TV show, Bayern München is just a football club. Your boyfriend is just a boyfriend, your job is just a job, this exam is just an exam. And that's just a spider! Gee, thanks, I totally didn't notice! In the grand scheme of things, every thing is "just" a thing. Telling somebody to care less because "it's just …" is totally ridiculous because when has that ever worked? Not to mention that nobody has the right to tell someone else what is worth caring about. And why would you want someone not to care anyway? The world doesn't become a better place for anyone if you approach it with "just"s all the time. Everything in my life is just "just" and I care anyway. Even about stupid fictional characters and the alphabetical order on my shelf.*


* This rant was brought to you by a person who is depressed and phobic (and thus hears this at least once a week). And no, it never helps even the tiniest bit.

Comments

[blnchflr]

Aggravating people who want to tell you what is not ok to care deeply about are aggravating, gah!!!

That said, I think for ourselves it can be helpful to step back and say, "it's not the end of the world". With some things we can't - I can't with spiders.

But e.g. with my upcoming trip, I can work myself into a frenzy about remembering everything, and at some point it's helpful to tell myself, "Do you have your tickets, passport, money? Fine, then you can buy everything else you need!" :o)

[rodo]

I totally agree, telling yourself that something "is just X" can be a very good idea. It can be calming, and it helps you sort out your priorities. And with minor phobias it's actually useful. Like a mantra ("itsjustaspideritsjustaspider").

Having someone else standing beside you and telling you that it's just a spider somehow only makes it worse because they're (un)intentionally telling you that you're an idiot, that you should know better or that you're a child that has to be calmed down.

My mother, unfortunately, loves telling me that "it's just ..." and it drives me crazy.

[eumelkeks]

Justified rant is justified. There are other ways to put things into perspective without belittling the problem.

[rodo]

For me, "It's just ..." is down there somewhere with "Get a life" when it comes to constuctive things one can say in a discussion.

[bettina]

I'm a bit conflicted when it comes to the "It's just X," because I totally get it when someone outside (i.e. someone not in fandom) tells me that "It's just a TV show." I feel insulted and not taken seriously. How can they belittle something that I care so much about?

But on the other hand, sometimes people can act so very much over the top, for instance when they get upset about things that haven't even happened yet, about things that haven't even filmed yet, where no one even knows if it's actually going to happen that way or not. In cases like that I just can't help thinking (or sometimes even saying) that it's "just a TV show."

I'm as obessessed about things as anyone else, but I can't get upset about things that haven't happened yet (except for things in RL, I constantly worry about things in RL even when they haven't happened yet). *shrugs*

[rodo]

I totally understand the feeling, I've felt it often enough myself, but saying it is in no way helpful. You're only venting, and consequently insulting other people. As eumelkeks pointed out, there are other ways to say what you want to say.

I guess when talking to someone like that, we should consider that maybe to us it's just a TV show, but to them it might be much more. And we should remind ourselves how it feels to be told that when we're the "unreasonable" ones. Often enough, it's just a matter of perspective. I don't get football at all, for example.

[bettina]

I've felt it often enough myself, but saying it is in no way helpful.

I know it's not helpful, but sometimes I just can't help it. I'll be more careful in the future, though.

And usually I get the urge to say that to people in my main fandoms. I couldn't care less about the craziness of people in other fandoms ;-).

[seanlily]

I say it to myself sometimes and other friends, but I mean it more in a "in the grand scheme of things this is a small problem not worth fretting over compared to some other problems that are" but yes everyone's sense of what's important is different so it doesn't really help.

Glad your muse is sneaking back.

[fibrizo]

Das Album ist toll. :) mag "das zweite Gesicht" sehr, sehr gerne. ^^

freut mich, dass deine muse wieder da ist. ; ) ich wünschte, das wäre bei meiner der fall. Die ist irgendwie nur sporadisch da...

"Es ist nur eine TV- serie" etc. regt mich auch auf. vorallem in diskussionen, wenn mit dem "argument" dann veruscht wird, einen als totalen nerd darzustellen, der sonst nichts im leben hat. :/
aber stimmt. gerade bei phobien hilft das nicht. man weiß ja meist, dass es irrational ist, angst zu haben, aber das schlimme ist ja, dass einen dieses wissen nicht weiterhilft.

[rodo]

Hey, sporadisch ist besser als gar nicht!

Und selbst wenn man nur ein Nerd ist, der sonst nichts im Leben hat, kann es ja sein, dass das für die entsprechende Person die beste Wahl ist. Menschen scheinen allgemein nicht verstehen zu wollen, dass nicht alle dasselbe wollen und wichtig finden.

[sevilemar]

Hey, es ist harte Arbeit, das rauszufinden! Und das schlimmste ist, man muss das immer wieder neu rausfinden, es wird nicht einfacher nach dem ersten Mal.